From the Mouths of Babes

I have realized this first year of teaching, that kids love to ask questions. Some of them get annoying, like when one person asks to go to the bathroom, and everyone else things that sounds like a good idea, so they all ask. So, here are some of the most commonly asked questions, and some of the funniest that I have answered this year.

These ones I probably answer daily:

"Can I use the restroom?"
"Can I get a drink?"
"Can I take my Hot Cheetos to lunch?"
"Can I take the football out for recess?"
"When do I get to use the computer?"
"Can I sharpen a pencil?"
"Can I borrow your pencil?"
"Is it time for lunch yet?"
"Do we have PE today?"

These ones are once in a lifetime questions, most of which made me smile!

"You know how there is a people God, is there a dog God?" (I should have said "Yes, it is dogma.")

"Don't you do anything fun?" (Apparently my life is incredibly boring to an 8 year old.)

"When will you get another boyfriend?" (I think the asker of this question was worried about me!)

"Why didn't you dump him first?" (No Comment)

"Why don't you wear any makeup?" (I actually do, so the fact that it isn't obvious to a kid tells me I am wearing just enough. I remember how I used to put makeup on when I was little. Crazy!)

"When you were in (long pause) Miscunsin?" (I talk about both Minnesota and Wisconsin since I grew up in one, and went to school in the other. I guess this might be a bit of a tough concept to grasp.)

"Can I have another cupcake?" (Ha. No. This was after our valentines party.)

"How come your clothes are always clean?" (A good lesson on personal hygiene. And the fact that I don't roll around in dirt on a regular basis.)

Here is also one of my favorite scenarios, that probably occurs on a daily basis, if not twice a day.

Student approaches me.

"I lost my pencil."

I look at student.

"Well (insert student's name), I didn't take it."

Student stares at me.

I stare back.

"Would you like to know what other second graders have done when they have lost a pencil?"

Student nods.

I reply.

"Well, some second graders ask me to borrow a pencil, and some second graders ask a friend to borrow a pencil."

At this point in the conversation, all the busybodied students in my class get out an extra pencil and start to offer it to the victim of the tragic pencil loss.

Students stares at me and stares at them.

"Everybody, just wait. (Student's name) is going to ask to borrow a pencil from someone. Keep doing your work."

Student stares at me some more.

I stare back, working to keep a straight face.

"Do either of those sound like good ideas to you?"

Student nods.

I continue staring. If I stare for more than a minute, I go back to my work while the pencil-less student still stands there. Usually a minute or so later I hear a soft voice.

"Can I borrow a pencil?"

I smile.

"Of course!"