I have been challenged recently to find some space in between my life at school and my real life. My job is so intensive that I have a hard time leaving work at work and truly separating myself from that. I remember last summer when I went home and spent the summer in Minnesota with the family that I nannied for throughout college. I had a hard time just relaxing and letting go of my job, I felt a little lost, like I always should be doing something.
Anyway, I have been trying to not just leave work at work during the week in a physical sense (I haven't been bringing my school work home to do at home except for planing on the weekends) but mentally as well. I am trying to do things for me, just for me, things I want to do. I have been going to the Y more than I had been, listening to some good tunes on my IPod while I run. Running is not my favorite thing to do because it is hard and hot and sweaty, but it does clear my mind. I started going tanning (yes I know, skin cancer kills) but I am tired of being pasty white when it is warm enough to be wearing skirts and flip flops. I have also devoted Thursday evenings to be a night where I get some quality girl time with friends. It has been just Laurel and I for the past few weeks, but tonight my friend Vanessa from work is going to join us. We're going to Oeno in downtown Wichita...it should be fun.
Why is it that we let our work consume us? Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I believe it is such a ministry and with that aspect of it, my work becomes something I am emotionally connected to because of how passionate I am about what I do. However, my job is not who I am. That does not define me. I am, and will always be, an individual regardless of my job and what I do. I think about my parents and the past year. It has been a tough ride for them with jobs and searching for what the next step will be. Perhaps this is because we as a family were so emotionally tied to the job they had, and maybe in that we let it define us a little bit. Our jobs shape us, but they are not who we are. And beyond jobs, many things can cloud who we are. How many of us when introducing ourselves say "I am married to so and so, or I have 3 kids, or I work at such and such a place." These material things can all disappear.
So then the question becomes, if my job is not who I am, then who am I?
Time for some soul searching...
1 comment:
Profound. I would say the changes you are making in your life are all part of intentional living. We have to constantly fignt to not be consumed by work. We need to decide what is most important in each day and then intentionally do those important things. It also is always good to ask the question "Who am I?"
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